The giant vacuum cleaner

The Garden of Earthly Delights- Bosch

Last week my mother gave me a nice red vacuum cleaner and I began vacuuming the entire house: under the bed, in the cracks of windows, on the couch, on the corners of doors, beside the computer desk. Within minutes, all the dirt that had been bothering me was trapped inside a bag, away from my eyes.

I started thinking how nice it would be if there were a giant vacuum cleaner where we could store everything and everyone bothering us. People or things that are no good to the world, that do not contribute to make it better would have a place in the giant vacuum cleaner bag.

The discussions for the definition of what or who deserves to be placed on the bag are controversial, so it would be best that each one of us had our own repository. In my bag, for instance, the first ones to be deposited would be the arrogant people, followed by the opportunist and unscrupulous ones. It is also worth to vacuum disagreements we have accumulated throughout our lives; the criteria don’t have to be so strict. Rats, cockroaches, grenades, machine guns, people who humiliate others, who steal public money or plot to disturb the lives of others, people who throw garbage on the sidewalks and do not collect their dog's poops have a great chance to be sucked by the big vacuum cleaner.

Inside the bag, these elements would have to live with each other and to start a new society. In a kind of Big Brother's bag - which we certainly wouldn’t have to watch - participants would have to put up with dog’s poop and garbage on the streets. Meanwhile, we would have a wonderful life out here, free from all this dirt. If our kids needed to learn to value life, we could send them to spend some time camping in the bag. Surely they would be more grateful when they got back.

To show everybody how generous we, the owners of the bags, are, the convicted could be given a second chance to show that they had learned to live in society. They would be free to return to the real world, on the condition of being observed by other members during rehab months.

When you think of it, this crazy idea of mine is already put into practice in our state prisons, where theoretically people who are dangerous to society are isolated. The issue is that they who define the individuals deserving to be arrested should themselves sometimes be in prison too. 

In fact, we tend to think of ourselves as the only ones who can distinguish good from evil, the only ones with the ability to define who should or shouldn’t go into the bag. And what if your neighbor decides that you or your mother deserve to go to his bag? This is how the temptation to impose authoritarian regimes emerges. I can finally get you, Commander Fidel...